Female Lib or a disguised step backwards?

PETA's 'Go Naked for fur' campaign, "Girls Gone Wild" and Suicide Girls walk the very thin line behind consent and replacing 'old-school' exploitation with another. My question is whether exploitation becomes different when it's consenting.

Although fur is a serious issue that unfortunately the fashionistas like Madonna, Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss flit in and out of. One year fur be bad, this year fur oh so hot (supposedly). So organisations like PETA understandably go with the times to keep the kids interested, go naked for fur (preferably if you're blonde, big titted and tiny waisted) and get Pink to do anti-KFC adverts.

Suicide Girls (SG) is the one I'm confused by, 'alternative' women who DIY their photo sets. The women themselves are the artistic director, they're the ones in control. The SG website gets 5 million unique visits per month and holds over 1,000 'suicide girls' DIY photo sets and blogs. There's no doubt that it's something people (men/women) are interested in because it reflects the body modification and alternative/sub- culture in the way mainstream doesn't.

The SG team state "The site mixes the smarts, enthusiasm and DIY attitude of the best music and alternative culture sites with an unapologetic, grassroots approach to sexuality.
In the same way Playboy Magazine became a beacon and guide to the swinging bachelor of the 1960s, SuicideGirls is at the forefront of a generation of young women and men whose ideals about sexuality do not conform with what mainstream media is reporting."

I'd like to talk about the bodies used in the PETA adverts, Suicide Girls & Girls Gone Wild.

Feminism was the future that never happened. It's written about in great length in Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture by Ariel Levy.

She interrogates how 'feminism' differs from women's bodies at present in opposition to the future the 'old-school' feminists envisaged. It wasn't in the hands of 60s feminists as to how their daughters turn out and how they define feminism for themselves. It also would have helped if feminism hadn't turned in on itself by the time it reached the 70s, and therefore was a failure to itself.

(From what I've seen) The challenge is that even gender studies doesn't know what's going on. No-one's defined feminism now. Feminism = 60s radical 'personal becomes the political', 80s and 90s postfeminism, 'femininity challenges feminist values' - 00s, who they F knows.

What I do know about now is that girls feel they do what they want because their feminist mothers made it possible for them to have choice.

But...Women/Girls remain instilled in the value that to be beautiful, according to the criteria of others, is to feel true self-worth - it's turning us women/girls into pathological self-haters, living with the increasing growth of eating disorders and self-harm, that doesn't sound like the feminism I signed up for.

My increasing concern is that e.g. Christina Aguilera hanging her ass out of a pair of chaps is not necessarily an act of feminism. But she, and her young audience, may be confused enough to think it is. It is the girls doing this for themselves, to themelves, Christina wears those chaps because she feels "Drrrty" just like the song says.

Does Christina feel Drrty because it's her feminist based Godamn given right to express her sexuality and how she feels? Or does Christina feel Drrty because sex, wearing a push-up bra, arching her back and sucking in her stomach sells.

Is sexiness a result of sincere feminist self-deterministic values or is it a reversion back to girls exploiting their bodies for male eyes only?

I wonder if any of the women or girls involved are enjoying or understanding any of what's happening here, it's certain to say the heterosexual men of the world certainly are enjoying this (a generalisation I know) - which is not to say that I blame them, this so called 'raunchy liberation' is to be available to all, who it benefits is the powerful quandary.

Is it ok for the Sugababes to sing "I've got such a pretty kitty boy, I know you want to pet it", with their audience averaging between age 7 to 16?

Presenter of popular TV show "Girls Gone Wild", Mia Leist, has never gone naked for her show, but it's not like she lacks material to work with, girls are stripping off by the hundreds to 1. feature on the show (a supposed (generalisation again!) rites of passage for middle-class American educated young women) 2. get a GGW cap. Girls that participate claim it's fun, liberating, but often don't mention the flack they'd get if they didn't participate, names like "frigid" "fascist lesbian" "boring" "conservative", peer relations have alot to do with it too. Leist says "It's a business, in a perfect world maybe we'd stop and change things. But we know the formula, we know how it works."

What has feminism done if women are in controlling positions of their bodies, but publications like Playboy, shows like Girls Gone Wild, companies like CAKE or sites like SuicideGirls continue because they've got the formula, they know how it works. It's interesting to know that two CEO's on the Playboy publication are female, one the daughter of Hugh Hefner, one an ex-human rights activist who is also an African-American.

Women, of any age: Have we gone forwards or backwards? Are we experiencing the feminist future that never happened?

Vagina Soliloquy

I'm reading Levy's Female Chauvinist Pig at the moment and I saw this bit about vaginoplasty or vaginal rejuvination, cosmetic surgery on the vulva and labia. This is a little caption from p23 of the book, I've paraphrased it somewhat.

"plasticsurgerybeverleyhills.net says that the demands for these procedures (vaginoplasty or vaginal rejuvination) is increasing. The surgeries are not designed to heighten sexual pleasure. They are designed to exclusively render the vagina more "attractive". Warning that large labia can give a 'ragged appearance' to a vagina if not 'corrected'."

So they're saying my vagina should be 'corrected' because one of my labia's is a little on the large side.

They're saying I should pay a great deal of money, not so I can increase my pleasure or heighten my orgasm but to please whoever is looking at my vagina.

They also said that some scarring from these procedures can numb sexual pleasure even more, so not only will it not make sex more fun, the procedure will lessen my enjoyment!

Please tell me who is benefitting from these 'procedures' really and why the voyeur is more significant in a woman's relationship with her down there regions than the woman herself or the sensations she feels!

Has society taken the 'woman' or the 'female experience' out of the vagina somehow and laid it out like silly putty for everyone else to play with?

Perfection

I want to write a few words today about being a survivor and the want for perfection and/or control in our everyday lives.

As a Survivor: Nearly good enough is not safe enough

I read this on a UK-based survivior site a few days ago. I wrote it down in my journal and it's been on my mind since.

I tried to avoid my abuse. I really, really did. Avoidance was on my mind all the time. It/I was never good enough, my efforts never rendered me safe.

This has left me with a self-hating residue where whatever I attempt to accomplish I presume only failure can happen, I tell myself "come on, don't expect to win at this".

The need to feel control, perfection, safety and constant awareness are really common affects of particularly childhood sexual abuse.

Writing about your coping skills, which ones you recognise are not healthy or positive and acknowledging what you will gain from letting those go are a good way to get started on this. A really good idea is splitting a page in two, one side 'things to give up' on the other side 'things to gain'.

I'm at the beginning, even writing this blog I'm telling myself only failure can happen, I tell myself "come on, don't expect to win at this".

Knowing is half the battle

Argh - if only I had known! If only as kids when we had sex ed. class it included sexual and intimate boundaries, how to tell and who to tell, what happens if you disclosed etc etc. This never happened at my school and I'm not going to say how much I wish they had. I think we can empower children and adolescents by letting them know, I think survivors look back with a great loss and a feeling of regret. How things could have been, if circumstance were different, if i had had different information maybe I could have felt empowered to make change.

In 1991, Oprah Winfrey, a sexual abuse survivor initiated a campaign to establish a US-based national database of convicted child abusers. Then-President Clinton signed the "Oprah Bill" into law in 1993. In the aforementioned interview, Oprah stated:

“A part of my mission in life now is to encourage every other child who has been abused to tell. You tell, and if they don't believe you, you keep telling. You tell everybody until somebody listens to you…I don't want another child to be afraid of saying, ‘This is what happened to me’.”

It's odd to realise that my sexual abuse began around 1991ish, I didn't hear Oprah though. If only.

Links

www.welcometobarbados.org Leads to Pandora's Aquarium, the best survivors online chat and message board - incredible survivors of all shapes and sizes online to get support and to support.

www.pandys.org Pandora's Aquarium

www.pandys.org/overtherainbow Lots of information for UK based survivors (mainly England & Scotland), fabulous layout, awesome concept, mixing being a survivor and The Wizard of Oz.

www.fword.org.uk UK based feminist e-zine, feminist, sassy, funny and informative

www.empowerment4women.org International feminist e-zine and information with some hilarious blogs

www.survivors.org UK based informative site

www.rainn.org The Rape Abuse Incest National Network - US based organisation which is a charity, runs a national hotline, is informative, supportive and generally inspirational - I hope the UK will have something as grand someday.

http://surivorscanthrive.com A blog by Marj McCabe, a real survivor

http://rapesurvivor.pbwiki.com/survivor Definitions of the term survivor told by survivors (Thanks to Pandora's Aquarium & Pixie)

www.truthaboutrape.co.uk Lots of UK specific information, but international links too

www.cwasu.org Child & Abuse Studies Unit of London Metropolitan University

www.womankind.org International non-profit organisation which believes in empowering women in developing countries to improve their own situations, health and safety.

www.ibiblio.org/rcip Rape Crisis Information Pathfinder - US based, has lots of links and helpful things for researchers and survivors

Survivorship - a definition to being a survivor

Being a survivor means taking a transition from sexual assault or abuse 'victim' to someone who appreciates how they endured the pain of sexual abuse or rape.

Survivors appreciate what they had to do to get themselves through the abuse or the assault. They have now taken control of their bodies and healing. One can acknowledge oneself as surviving the trauma from an assault of a forced sexual nature, whether it happened once or occured ritualistically for a long period of time which left a psychological, emotional and physical aftermath that must be addressed and processed.

People of any age, origin or gender that experience sexual assault, child abuse, rape, incest or any sexual act against their will are commonly known as victims, forced into the victim category which has connotations of fragility and naivety. The term survivor connotes an act of renaming which is a catalyst to aid in healing, moving forward and regaining control.

Being a survivor is acknowledging how you have suffered and taking an active role in your healing journey.

http://rapesurvivor.pbwiki.com/survivor has definitions from survivors on how they define themselves, the book Quest for Respect describes in more detail the process of transitioning from the victim to the survivor stage of healing.

Sexual Violence Statistics to WAKE UP to

1 in 4 males and 1 in 3 females will have survived some form of sexual abuse before reaching the age of 18 in the UK

It's estimated there are 148,571 NEW ‘victims’ of childhood sexual abuse each year

That means in excess of 10,400,000 people in the UK are survivors of sexual abuse, around 21% of the population.

To put it into more manageable terms... there are approximately 3 million cars on the road in the UK, so each time you see a car, just think "that's 3 people who have been abused"....you will not be that far wrong.

RAINN (Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network) published these statistics from the US National Crime Victimisation Survey '05.

• Every two and a half minutes, somewhere in America, someone is sexually assaulted.
• One in six American women are victims of sexual assault, and one in 33 men.
• In 2004-2005, there were an average annual 200,780 victims of rape, attempted rape or sexual assault.
• About 44% of rape victims are under age 18, and 80% are under age 30.

Young females are four times more likely than any other group to be a victim of sexual assault.

Almost two-thirds of all sexual violence in the UK & US were committed by someone who is known to the victim. 73% of sexual assaults were perpetrated by a non-stranger – 38% of perpetrators were a friend or acquaintance of the victim, 28% were an intimate and 7% were another relative.
National Crime Victimization Survey, 2005: RAINN Statistics

References:

RAINN www.rainn.org/

www.survivorsswindon.com/